Primal Innocence
by Abarero
Summary: A collection of stories about Shinn and the people in his life. Written for 10hugs on livejournal.
1. I'll Be There

This will be home to my collection of stories for my Shinn Asuka claim at livejournal community 10hugs. I do plan on writing about all of the girls that are important in his life- both on a familial level with Mayu and on a romantic level with Stellar and Lunamaria. Other than that, they'll be general Shinn-centric pieces.

Anyways, enjoy!

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**Title:** I'll Be There  
**Rating:** PG  
**Genre:** Drama/Introspective  
**Pairings:** Shinn/Lunamaria  
**Word Count:** 504  
**Summary:** Slowly, we were trying to go back to the people we were before. To live normal lives, to be normal teenagers, to say goodbye to our past and welcome whatever the future holds for us. Lunamaria POV.

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He was left with nothing. His family was dead, his childhood home destroyed, and his meager belongings on the ship were all he had to his name. Now that the war was over- he had nowhere to go.

I didn't even have to think twice before having him come home with me.

It was a bit hectic at first. My mother had a fit when I asked if I could stay in his room at night and it wasn't until that first night when Shinn woke up crying in his sleep that she finally understood why I'd asked. After that, I slept across the room from him- two twin beds arranged much like a room on the Minerva.

Shinn was a part of our family now.

During the day, Shinn and I would go out. And if I was lucky, something would get his smile to surface- even if just for a second. The war had aged him far beyond his sixteen years. On the outside, he was still a teenage boy; but a closer look at his eyes would show that he'd seen more than a child should ever have to see.

Slowly, we were trying to go back to the people we were before. To live normal lives, to be normal teenagers, to say goodbye to our past and welcome whatever the future holds for us.

But goodbyes were always hard- and Shinn clung very tightly to the tragedies of his past. The chaos of the war helped him forget for awhile, but now that it was over- he seemed to dwell on it. And so, I did what I could for him.

Some days, we'd drive for hours just to visit the ocean- a romantic trip to most, but a somber journey for the two of us. Often, Shinn would just sit there- staring at the tide for hours. Silently, I'd wait beside him and hold his hand until he was ready to leave.

When the sun began to set, he'd turn to me with the slighest smile say, "Lunamaria, let's go home."

They were the simplest words, but they meant everything to me. And so, we'd leave a single white flower on the shore- waiting there until the tide took it away.

At night I could hear him mumbling the names of those he'd lost that were dear to him. Quietly, I'd get up and go to his side. I knew there was nothing I could do to take away the painful memories that haunted him, so I offered him my warm embrace instead. Holding him gently and letting him fall sleep there until the nightmares went away.

Each day, Shinn gave me more hope for the future. A tender smile, a sudden hug or kiss when we were alone together or something as simple as a gentle squeeze of his hand accompanied by a 'thank you.' Things would be better someday, I was sure of that. But until then, I'd be there for him always, waiting with open arms.

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	2. Write Your Own Ending

**Title:** Write Your Own Ending  
**Rating:** PG  
**Genre:** Drama/Introspective  
**Pairing:** Shinn/Lunamaria  
**Word Count:** 299  
**Summary:** You cannot always believe what you hear.

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He could hear the whispers everywhere. The murmurs that no child should have to fight a war and the somber voices that said that nothing happy would come of his life.

In the past, Shinn would have agreed with this. He'd lost so much- his family, Stellar, and many friends during the wars. And even if he avenged all those gone, what was there to look forward to?

Just like they said- no war spawned a true happy ending.

Happiness was a fleeting memory of his past, this much was true. A moment amongst fall leaves playing chase with Mayu. The peaceful sight of Stellar dancing by the ocean. He didn't have those anymore, so by their standards he couldn't be happy.

But what then was the warmth he felt on seeing Lunamaria's smile? What was the feeling in his heart when he held her close and dreamed of the peaceful future they were working to create? 

Shinn knew, despite the anger and sadness that permeated his life those war-torn years, that this was the beginning of a happier time. Perhaps happiness was not something you just "had" after war, but something like peace that came with patience and love.

Lunamaria was, in all senses of the word, his happy ending. She was there as the war formally ended holding him and wiping away his tears. She was there as they visited the memorial, standing beside him ready to provide her support. And after that, they moved forward with their lives- building a home and slowly stripping away all the sorrow the war had left them with.

There might be whispers everywhere saying they couldn't be happy, but their message was wrong. Wars might not make for happy endings, but the survivors of it could certainly make their own.

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	3. Boy of Broken Promises

**Title:** Boy of Broken Promises  
**Character/Pairings:** Shinn Asuka (pairings: Shinn/Stellar, Shinn/Lunamaria)  
**Rating:** PG  
**Word Count:** 1,047  
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He was a boy of broken promises; a secret burden he carried in his heart. For no matter how truthfully he meant the words when he said them, in the end- he was nothing but a liar. He could never keep a promise to the ones he loved, and so he was left alone.

He had promised his sister that he'd always be there for her. But when she needed him most, he was too far away to stop the explosion from killing her.

He had promised his Mother, "I'll be a good boy." Now, his family was gone and he killed others on a daily basis.

He had promised his Father he'd be strong. But when he fought against Freedom, he knew that even that promise was a lie.

Each of these secret burdens, each of these promises that he couldn't keep, weighed like a dark cloud over Shinn Asuka. It was hard for him to find things to smile about anymore, when all Mayu would have to do is laugh and he'd be smiling without a second thought. He used to live in peace, never knowing or dreaming that war would even touch them in Orb. And now, he fought against that very country and the Earth itself as a soldier from ZAFT.

Still, despite everything- he wanted to prove to everyone he was strong. He wanted to people to think of the boy behind the deadly pilot from time to time. And he wanted to protect everyone's families from the fate that befell his. His broken promises were now his motivation, a chance to try again to make things right.

But that all fell apart when he met her. When once again, he made a promise he was unable to keep.

Stellar, that wide-eyed and innocent girl that he found dancing by the sea. He'd jumped in after her when she fell, risking life and limb as she panicked amidst the waves. Taking her into the cove, into a small inlet that would give them shelter- he made his promise.

"I'll protect you."

And so he did, assuring that she was safely returned to her 'family' and that even her injured ankle was bandaged as best he could, given the circumstances. Yet, he met her again- his mobile suit poised to destroy hers when he realized just _who_ was in the cockpit inside.

Despite the fact there was a voice in the back of his head telling him he'd get in major trouble for it; he took her back to the Minerva. Little did he know that the crew had orders to do more than just aide the young woman. Now Shinn carried with him two secrets- those of his past, and those of the present. His unspoken concern for the girl wanting to manifest itself into a deeper feeling. But he said not a word about it as he rushed her away from the prying eyes, back to the man she spoke of like a father

Shinn thought she was safe. He'd asked the man she called Neo as much, making him promise that the girl would be returned to a happier place. That she would never set foot on a battlefield again.

But this man had his own secrets. So he would lie about a promise because he and the girl had no other choice. If she didn't fight, she'd be killed. If she did fight, she had a chance to live.

And so, on that fateful day in Berlin- they met once again. Shinn, knowing that it was too late the moment Freedom dealt that powerful blow yet wanting so to deny it. Ignoring all the stares, he carried her away. His own promise being echoed on her lips as she breathed her last breath.

Another causality of war, another promise he couldn't keep- despite how hard he'd tried. And the cycle of destruction didn't stop there. With the war growing by the day and his own heart being pulled in different directions, Shinn found himself caught in the middle of the Chairman's wishes and his own.

This time, it was personal. This time, the promise he'd broken hurt not only himself and those involved- but others as well. He'd promised himself to protect his friends, yet Athrun and Meyrin had just died by his hand. He'd betrayed himself and the others. He had lost the will to believe in promises.

But she changed that all. At first, Shinn swore to himself that walking on by and keeping silent would be the best. He knew how it felt to lose a sister dear to you, and now Lunamaria's had been killed because of him. What could you even say to her at a time like that? But as he passed, the words slipped from his mouth anyway...

"I'm sorry."

She stopped him them, resting against his back as she cried. At first, he hesitated to reach out. Would she be yet another person he couldn't protect? Yet another promise to be broken? But finally his arms found their way around her, hugging her tightly as they both shed their tears.

Now, she'd pilot Impulse. And as her determined voice made it's vow, "I won't lose," Shinn found he couldn't deny her when she reached up to him gently and asked him, "That's why Shinn, you too...okay?"

How could she know that she tore right through all his inner defenses? How could she know that he was afraid to make a promise only to have it be a lie? Yet, how could he refuse her- her eyes rimmed with tears and their hearts pounding in their chests.

"Luna...Luna..." He murmured as he pulled her into his arms, tears in his eyes as well. In his mind, he made a vow- to himself, to her- and sealed it with a kiss.

They awkwardly pulled apart, Shinn making a promise he knew that would never break.

"It'll be okay. I'll definitely...protect Impulse."

She was touched, but inwardly Shinn finished making his promise.

_"I'll protect her, or I'll die trying."_

The unbreakable promise; he'd protect her or die alongside her. There was no more time for the past or present fears, he would keep this vow for the future- for her and for those he'd lost before.

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